What I Did on Valentine’s Day

not that into you.jpg

I have been in bed with a raging sinus infection for the past four days. My one foray out, so as not to feel totally and completely pathetic, was to a Saturday matinee of "He's Just Not That Into You" with four lady friends. A steady stream of network TV commericals had informed me that "HJNTIY" was the "number one movie in America." So I figured that since I have no intention of reading The Purpose-Driven Life, I should check out HJNTIY and see what all the self-help fuss is about.

In short, I have to say that I did not relate to this movie at all. From what I could tell, the movie made the following arguments: 

1. All women want to get married. In fact, getting married is a woman's main goal in life. 
2. Women cajole and trick men to the altar. No man has ever gone there willingly! 
3. Don't call a man. Only desperate, clingy women call men. And since you are desperate and clingy, but you don't want him to know that you are, never call. 
4. Straight women who date are white. 
5. Men want sex. Preferably with Scarlet Johansson. Women are indifferent to sex. Except for Scarlet Johansson.
6. Straight men who date are white. 
7. You are not the exception to the above dating rules. You are the rule. Until you become the exception because you meet your one true love. Or something like that. 

The ideology of this movie was completely incoherent. The only thing the movie was quite clear about was that women are infantile dating-bots with little capacity for self-examination or sense of self-worth outside of their relationships with men. They spend all day at work procrastinating on dating websites and running to the bathroom to cry and/or call the man in question, desperately. HJNTIY is a truly stupid movie. I have not read the book, which I know some women swear by. In any case, I'm open to being convinced that I am wrong. But as I told a friend, as much as I love a guilty pleasure, I fear my IQ dropped at least 10 points just by sitting through this film. 

cross-posted at TAPPED

2 thoughts on “What I Did on Valentine’s Day

  1. lg

    I’m sure the movie was exactly as dopey as you describe. However, I did read the book – sat in the bookstore shortly after it was published a few years ago, and read nearly all of it in about an hour or less. My recollection is that it actually made a number of good points, which basically boiled down to “if he doesn’t actively pursue you, doesn’t call, doesn’t want to see alot of you, regardless of anything else you might kid yourself into believing, the truth is that HJNTIY.” What woman over the age of 15 can argue with that bit of truth?


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