Just kidding. But of all the fake endings to the series I’ve read, this is by far the best:

"Gosh, how long has it been?" wondered Harry aloud, sitting down on an Ikea Hagrid chair. "I haven’t seen you since…" he hesitated haltingly.

"Since you divorced Ginny?" said Hermione, raising her eyebrows upwardly.

"You know what it’s like, er, childhood sweethearts and all that," Harry said with an airy shrug. "After all we went through at Hogwarts…" his voice trailed away. "Especially in the last book … er, I mean year."

"Yes, it was terrible," said Hermione. "Who would have guessed that Professor Snape was the good guy all along?"

"Yes," said Harry. "Or that weedy Neville Longbottom actually turned out to be ‘the One‘ who saved us after a heroic struggle in which several well-known characters died, as you will recall from the previous chapters. What happened to Neville?"

"He’s the headmaster of Hogwarts now. But the place hasn’t been the same since they adopted the national curriculum," replied Hermoine sharply.


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